Four new causes for Gary Lineker to support this season
From moving the UK’s capital to deporting his arch enemy, have a look at some causes Lineker can get behind
Gary Lineker hasn’t followed the usual trajectory of an ex-football star. Rather than being content to just pass his days as a TV presenter and King of Crisps, he’s become one of the most outspoken celebrities of the modern day.
His politics have simultaneously gained him respect and ire with some saying he’s the Unofficial Leader of the Opposition, while others have called for him to be fired.
Just in case Lineker was stuck for some new causes to get behind, we’ve decided to give him a helping hand with some campaign ideas.
Move the UK’s capital to Leicester
As the city’s ‘favourite son’, it would make sense for Gary to up his place of birth’s stature in the country. London has been top of the pile for centuries. It’s time for someone else to have a go.
And why not Leicester? It’s pretty much as old as London while it’s way more central country-wise. We already know the Palace of Westminster is falling apart so it makes sense to just start from scratch to be honest.
Here’s some great facts about the city to get things rolling:
> Leicester has more traffic lights than any other city
> Sir David Attenborough grew up there
> It’s got four Nando’s restaurants
Replace Prime Minister’s Questions with penalty shootout
The weekly clash between the Prime Minister and the real Leader of the Opposition is meant to be a high point of parliamentary democracy, where the government of the day can be directly scrutinised on any subject.
In actual fact, it’s more like a school canteen full of terrible jokes, mates egging on mates, and a loud raucous noise that’s impossible to decipher. We’re pretty sure Gary would agree that a round of penalties would be far more entertaining – and civilised.
The format would be simple. For example, rather than Corbyn quoting Sally from Norfolk, he’ll have to do his best to Panenka one in past May. Who wouldn’t want to see that?
Put Claudio Ranieri on the £50 note
After Ranieri won the Premier League with Leicester it was no surprise that Lineker was a big fan. Even after the Foxes begun struggling in the following season, Gary still called for the Italian to be given a “job for life” by the club.
Unfortunately, they didn’t listen and sacked him. Lineker obviously wasn’t happy.
After all that Claudio Ranieri has done for Leicester City, to sack him now is inexplicable, unforgivable and gut-wrenchingly sad.
— Gary Lineker (@GaryLineker) February 23, 2017
So we think Gary should try and do something for Ranieri. Putting him on the £50 note would be a great gesture. It would also be great for his pro-EU credentials by getting a European onto a note. It’s a hard sell, but it’s worth a shot. Probably.
Deport Piers Morgan
Twitter is pretty wonderful, connecting people from across oceans creating debate, discussion, and discourse previously impossible. It also gives celebrities a chance to air every single of one of their thoughts to thousands and, unsurprisingly, other celebrities like to argue back.
Lineker and Piers Morgan have argued about everything from nuclear weapons to each other’s fashion sense. Endearingly referring to each other as Jugs and Tubs, it’s hard not to think that – deep down – they love each other really.
That’s not to say Lineker wouldn’t relish a #MorganOut Twitter campaign to send him back to the US for a while though.